There’s nothing quite like deep, honest conversations to soothe the soul. One of my favorite employees and I had a conversation yesterday that helped to ease this growing tension within me.
She is an older woman and treats me like a son. Speaks her mind and is so open and honest that I can’t help but do the same. Yesterday she asked me why I hadn’t found a young woman to be with. That I am an amazing young man that any woman would be lucky to have.
After I laughed that compliment off, I told her exactly why. I wasn’t always who I am today. I was once unhealthy and codependent. I wasn’t much of a man at all. I told her about my life, my losses and my failures as a human being.
The whole time she listened to me she didn’t interrupt. I told her my whole story and her eyes looked sad. I thought I had made a mistake, how could she not look at me differently. I was, after all, a horrible person. And then she surprised me, she hugged me and kissed my forehead.
In a way that only a parent could, she comforted me. She said to me this,“it’s ok mi Amor. I can see you are a good man now. That’s what’s matters.”
And we continued to talk. As a son would to his mother and a mother would to her son. We made plans to have dinner as a family, and she’s going to teach me to make tamales. Amazing people are all around us. And sometimes all it takes is a simple conversation to show you that they are closer than you believe.
I am not who I once was. I am worthy of love and I am capable of giving it in a healthy and powerful way. Thank you, Yolanda for showing me that.