It has been three days since the last time I remember eating. Mind you this is not intentional or due to lack of food. I simply don’t feel hunger. And when I am distracted, busy or working I have a tendency of forgetting to eat.
It isn’t until I’m running on vapors and my body crashes that I realize it’s been days. For the past week it’s been more due to depression. Like a good portion of my city I am not working. And as a high energy individual, I find the lack of outlets to be more draining than actual work.
And so I have been doing all I can to help others and distract myself from this boredom and the depression that comes with it. Be it working on cars, volunteering where possible, or reading/writing. the fact that I sleep only a few hours a day doesn’t help. However there is solace in the solitude.
I’ve made the decision to pursue and gain my Doctorates in Psychology. I’ve spent so much time with my children that I’m ashamed at how much I missed. I’ve written full chapters of a novel that I’ve been writing. And I’ve connected with so many people online.
I’ve missed my life, but I will miss this once it’s over. Time is a perpetually advancing flow of moments. And we waste so much of it getting caught up in work, distractions, and relationships built to crumble.
Or constantly staring through the rear view. Clutching, grasping, and desperately clinging to what once was. We see the tree where we built our home and forget the beauty of the forest before us. We’ve lost our taste for adventure and our love for life in the chaotic motions of living.
We are birds that have forgotten how to fly because we fell in love with our perch. Flex those wings beloved, have faith, breathe deeply and soar back into the skies. Time is merciless and unbiased. Take this as a lesson, slow down beloveds.